As she lie on the operating table, in an instant I was taken back 14 years to that day at the Humane Society in Wichita, Kansas. I had just moved into my first home as a “big girl” and was ready to populate it with a furry little child! Growing up with pets – I knew that no home was complete without animals. Mom made sure that we had our fair share of fur love; from the minute I could even remember – there had been a slew of beautiful creatures through our doors. Blackie, Buddy, Snobal, Sparky, Frisky 1, Frisky 2, Frisky 3 (we couldn´t seem to get creative on the cat´s names!), Fred,… oh, the list goes on and on.
Anyway – back to the Humane Society. I walked in that door on that beautiful Sunday afternoon in 1989 – and there she was! All two pounds of her, sharing a fish aquarium with a not-so-feisty-and-very-scared baby Doberman. It was clear that she to be the spokesperson for both of them – and she was doing her job VERY well! She wanted – no demanded – attention, and she was going to get it!
Oh, my stars! Immediately I fell in love! Head over heels in love! I am still not sure if I gave her my heart – or if she just stole it,… but it was all hers!
She came home and immediately ruled the house. It was all hers. But what was even more interesting was how she commanded a presence wherever she went. She walked into life – into each situation – as if it was already hers. In all actuality – she never really walked into anything. She ran! She never wanted to just “be” in life – she wanted to “be a part of it.” It was as if every circumstance was a beautiful adventure, just waiting for her. She would look at each encounter as if it were the most incredible event – and one that held such wonder. Her eyes always seemed to say “Mommy – look what at this beautiful thing called life that we are sharing in together.” Whether it was the surroundings or the new friends she was about to meet – it was all so magnificent! Her confidence, lack of fear, and shear excitability was all so much fun to watch.
Internally – I knew that she was teaching me a lesson as well.
Life is beautiful – look at every event with wonder!
Everywhere you go – there are people who want to be a friend!
Don´t just “be” in life – “be a part of it.”
Life was so exciting with her – and for her. She loved everything – and everyone. We understood each other and spoke to each other from our hearts. I was in hers and she was in mine.
In a minute – I´m back in that operating room. The doctor has summoned me to come in and say “good-bye” to her as it´s clear that she will not be waking up from this surgery. How do you sum up 14 years in just a few minutes before they start removing the machines?
How do I tell her what she’s meant to me?
How do I thank her for what she’s done for me?
How do I let her know that I will ALWAYS love her – with all of my heart – the heart that she’s stolen?